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[CaRP] XML error: not well-formed (invalid token) at line 38 Eggs As Scrambled As Cooking Understanding
It wasn't so long ago that I had painfully little understanding of what eggs were, but once I got a handle on them I scrambled like crazy to make the best of it. Sadly, or happily, who knows, I also scrambled the eggs in the equation. That's a good thing, right? Post Holiday Midair Chucking Captured in Photography
I know it's pretty darn late to the game, as it were, but we've been ten kinds of busy since the whole thing happened. It was St. Hallow's Eve and it was a fun day, but we got caught up in the whole Puerto Rico thing, the moving, the new schools and all that and yet, the whole midair ball business has never escaped my recollection. Moving Situation Once Again Totally Moves Me
It's been many months since we did it but, then again, it's been a bunch of months since we actually updated these, our Perplexing Times. Good times, of course, but something less good as it pertains to the times of which I just spoke a minute ago, was the thing that about the whole moving situation. Flip for Free Flapjacks
It's that time of year again, kind of, so IHOP is at it once again. They've got so many pancakes they're literally giving them away. You'd think they're crazy or something and maybe they are a little bit. That I don't know, but I do know they're crazy about kids and us kids are crazy about their pancakes.
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[CaRP] XML error: syntax error at line 3 Conservatives Provide Open, Accountable Government for Minus 17 Minutes
Fatigued from 12 plus years of Liberal rule, Stephen Harper and his Conservative Party won power on January 23 by promising Canadians change.
Amazingly, the new Conservative Government managed to live up to their promise almost until they were sworn in. Prime Minister Harper provided Canadians with open, accountable government for a whopping 17 mi... continues The Angry Albertan
Well, Stephen, it didn't take long for you to forget the grass roots, did it? You weren't even sworn in before you sold out the people who brought you to the office of Primer Minister, in the first place. Harper Holds First Cabinet Meeting
An increasingly confident Stephen Harper held his first cabinet meeting this morning in Ottawa, even though his Conservative Party has yet to be elected as the nation's government. Voters Eager to Punish Liberals, Selves
Informal polling suggests that voters across Canada plan to punish the Liberal Party for the Quebec sponsorship scandal by voting them out of office in the January 23rd national election. But many want to go a step further and punish themselves, by voting Conservative. Kesiter Family Tired Of Being Butt Of Jokes
"Kesiter Family Tired Of Being Butt Of Jokes" The Top Ten Most Annoying Things Of 2004
"The Top Ten Most Annoying Things Of 2004" President Rushes Aid To Tsunami Survivors
"President Rushes Aid To Tsunami Survivors" Democrats Claim Ohio's Nonexistence
"Democrats Claim Ohio's Nonexistence"
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In the light of the recent security breach at Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs (HMRC), The Department of Social Scrutiny (DoSS) has issued the following statement on the subject of Identity Theft (IT) on behalf of The Government. This statement contains vital advice and the answers to a number...
16. Safety first.
You can’t trust a horse. Though beloved of pre-teenage girls, horses and ponies are dense, irrational animals that, like the front page of the Daily Mail, oscillate wildly between the negative states of anger and fright. (Their...
"The Highway Code", Britain's best selling non-fiction book, is 75 years old and, like any senior citizen, it has strong opinions, talks a lot about death and is widely ignored. So wave bye-bye to The Highway Code and enter The Myway Code, the wayward offspring of the original that puts...
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[CaRP] XML error: mismatched tag at line 11 Serial Killer Targets Songwriters
A third singer-songwriter has been killed in what police now concede is the work of a serial killer. Police Call for Voice ID Systems
Police have thrown their weight behind calls for the Voice Protocol Technograph system. The Office Party - Do's and Dont's
How to survive the office party Al Qaeda Admits Mistake
Al Quaeda has apologised to Western democracies, Christians and Jews for all recent bombings Nagin Loses, Must Remain Mayor of New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana -- Mayor Ray Nagin, who hoped his shoot-from-the-hip style would get him booted from office, narrowly won re-election over Lt. Gov. Mitch Landrieu on Saturday, cementing him in place for at least another four years. "Cmon people, Ive served my time," Nagin said angrily, upon hearing the result, "Its Mitchs turn!" Accusations ... continues All-Aibo Team a Hit With Iditarod Fans
WILLOW, Alaska - For 34 years, dog teams and mushers have come together in Alaska to race to Nome, in commemoration of a 1925 dogsled relay to get needed serum nearly 700 miles across the frozen territory. This race has tested men, mettle, and mutts to their limits. But this year a new entrant is testing something else -- Energizer batteries. Will ... continues HR Block Sues Self Over Tax Snafu
CHICAGO, Illinois - Hamp;R Block Inc, having publicly admitted that its own state taxes were improperly reported, has announced that it is filing a malpractice suit against itself. "We used ourselves for our tax preparation because we wanted the very best," explained CEO Mark Ernst, "Needless to say, we were extremely disappointed in our performanc... continues Exposure Surpasses Cancer as Leading Killer Among Smokers
ROCHESTER, New York - Doctors are reporting dramatically increased numbers of cases of exposure, frostbite, and other weather-related health issues among the smoking population. "Patients tell me that they know its cold, they know they shouldnt be out in it, but they just have to have a puff," said Dr. Lyle Wallen, clearly exasperated, "Then they w... continues Fetus Gestates, Births
Something miraculous happened about 12 months ago to our adored Happy Embryo. At first, they seemed... The Elizabeth Chronicles
The latest venture for Mickey Jefferson and Quenchert Landai results in something worth missing... o... Rumormill in Frenzy over Biological iPod
The Apple Rumormill has been in a frenzy over leaked
details of a new addition to the iPod family... Apple Releases New Barenaked Ladies Special Edition iPod
Buoyed by stronger-than-appropriate response to its U2 special edition iPod, Apple has released a ne... Open Letter to Neil Diamond
Your new CD, by use of a high frequency sonic wavelength, cleaned 80% of the North American water supply during the playing of track number three. Track number four re-polluted the same supply. Idiots Are Forever
Ofcourse he doesn't care about black people, the president is far too busy campaigning for a legally-impossible third term in office. The Agony of Pimping
I will always love watching ambiguously ethnic humans named Tightrope and QueeQuo debate the latest Hillary Lohan rumors. Asking Myself to Marry Myself
It was a letter from my clone, and I read it to two of my human slaves while they cleaned the kitchen floor, which, by the way, was already clean Rich Bossmund Solves Writer's Strike
Rich Bossmund Solves Writer's Strike Get Your Trophy Wife at B-Harmony.com
Get Your Trophy Wife at B-Harmony.com The Origin Of Chili's Roots
The Origin Of Chili's Roots Dickies Blowout!
Dickies Blowout!
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Platypusses Lack Nipples
The journal Science has devoted an entire issue to the platypuses. The table of contents reads like a Monty Python marathon. Top UK Clothing Chain Profits Down By 89%
A top UK clothing retailer, has announced that its pre-tax profits are down 89% for the year ending April 2008, fuelling speculation that it may have to shed jobs throughout the organisation. Dermot O'Neill hired by Chelsea to returf Stamford Bridge
Chirpy Irish Horticultarist Dermot O' Neill has been commissioned by the club to carry out some work on the pitch ahead of their crucial clash with Bolton this Sunday. Japan rocks: magnitude 7.1 earthquake may presage return of Godzilla
Beijing (Xinhua) - A magnitude 7.1 earthquake hit off the east coast of Japan's main Honshu island at 0:45 a.m. Thursday, according to China's earthquake and giant lizard monster observatory network.
Yes? No? Maybe? Text of Clinton Concession Speech Leaked
Unconfirmed source has received a draft text of the concession speech Hillary Clinton will deliver in the next few days. The draft of the speech was discovered on a copy machine in a West Virginia Kinko's Copy Center. The hand written document is several pages long and contains marginal notes from ... continues McCain Says He Would Put Judge Dredd on Supreme Court
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., -- Highlighting an issue he plans to use aggressively in the general election campaign, Sen. John McCain stated "the federal courts need some good old fashioned hanging judges." and pledged to nominate Judge Dredd to once again bring justice swift and sure to the streets. McCain Says He Would Put "Hanging Judges" on Supreme Court
WINSTON-SALEM, N.C., -- Highlighting an issue he plans to use aggressively in the general election campaign, Sen. John McCain stated "the federal courts need some good old fashioned hanging judges." and pledged to nominate judges that would once again make abortion a crime.
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(no title) Brown's first day blues.
Gordon Brown's first day as PM has been disrupted by the state Tony Blair left No. 10 Downing Street in when he left. It is believed that the outgoing PM and wife, Cherie, threw a bit of a party for Downing Street staff and didn't do any clearing up. Consequently, Mr and Mrs Brown arrived from next ... continues Never look an Iranian president in the mouth
The 15 Royal Navy sailors and marines held in Iran for almost two weeks have been reunited with their families. The crew, freed by Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad as a "gift" to the British people on Wednesday, touched down at Heathrow Airport at noon. A statement from Downing Street said that ... continues Prince William's girlfriend in photo fury
Prince William's girlfriend Kate Middleton has made a formal complaint over a photograph which appeared in today's Daily Mirror. Ms Middleton wrote to the Press Complaints Commission demanding action be taken over the photograph which she said made her "look a bit fat". Ms Middleton, who has the bac... continues A band named Sue
Hit 1970s pop band The Bay City Rollers are suing their record company, claiming they are owed millions of dollars in unpaid royalties. The Scottish group says Arista Records has withheld payments from album sales, merchandise, commercials, film rights and ringtones during the last 25 years. The fi... continues
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Okay, it's official: Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts just had sex. That's right, people, pack up your troubles, your cares, and your children, for the Coming of the Apocalypse is upon us. How do I know this, you ask; what was the final clue that convinced me all Hell had been unleashed upon the earth? B... continues Short film: The Great Gig in the Sand. by EmoSeMaSePoes
This here is a review, of a country. Could be a review of an experience. Brought to you by africans’ first foreign correspondent.
Opening track: Fade in with "Tone Poem" by Midnight Oil. That bald singer is plaintively going on about how "We can fade away, or start over again... ... continues Disintegration of a nation - this is the cure
A dusty deserted main street in a crumbling town. The people here are afraid, but they have no voice with which to cry out in fear. The nervous strays cowering in the shadows were the lucky ones as they had no vote to cast and there was no chance that a family member would go missing. No chance of b... continues No, You Can't Take the Fucking Weather With You [Part 1]
I listen to a lot of music. I do so for a multitude of reasons. For one thing, I like to think of myself as a cultured sort, who enjoys experiencing all kinds of aural stimuli, from the screams of the innocent to the dying calls of the whales to the yodelling of the clinically insane. However, I als... continues
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