Also, read the site description.

With all your talent and success in writing fake news, why didn't you choose to write straight news instead?
I am just writing fake news as a stopgap gig for the time being until I can land my dream job of writing real news for the Weekly World News. No, seriously, if you are a Weekly World News editor and you are reading this I really mean it. Even ask my friends and associates. I have definitely said on many occasions that my dream job is to write for the Weekly World News.

Weekly World News claims to be real news, how does that make you feel?
How does the Weekly World News make me feel? How can I express such a wide range of emotions within the confines of this paragraph? I will start with just a few of the emotions. When I first heard about Bat Boy being found in that cave my heart was warmed for the young boy who would have otherwise been forced to fend for himself. Then when I learned that Bat Boy had escaped I was at first worried, then scared, then a little bit hurt. How could he leave like that without saying goodbye? I could go on forever about all the emotions I have felt by reading the Weekly World News, but...

Why are you worth more than A-Rod?
If I were a sicko I would persuade people of my almost inestimable worth by saying something like "Why would you want A-Rod when you could have my enormous blog?" But since I am not a sicko I won't do that.

Musical comedies, horror/suspense, and sitcoms are all popular genres. What genre are you?
The genre that best describes me is an Amish Stripper movie. I start with a decent amount of coverage. Then I keep adding layer upon layer, whipping the crowd of anxious onlookers into a frenzy where they scream for me to put on more and more!

How much would you pay just to hug a fairly hot callgirl?
I don't have to pay callgirls to hug me. They are all up on me all the time. Word has gotten around about my enormous blog.

Web satirists are often thought of as pirates of internet news. Do you think your lack of eye patch, peg leg and squawking parrot hold you back?
To answer your question, I am not held back at all in the area of piracy. I have a peg leg, TWO eye patches and a parrot who also has a peg leg and an eye patch. Since both my eyes are covered I let him write most of the content for my site. Want a cracker?

How has a threesome or your quest for a threesome affected you as an adult?
In answering this question I am going to assume that you accidentally left out the word "entertainer" at the end of the question. So in short it has had a very positive effect on me as an adult "entertainer." In fact it is the premise for all of my movies.

You keep talking about your enormous blog. Your blog isn't really that big at all is it?
Fine, I admit it. I don't have a blog! I never had a blog! I just thought that talking about it might make people like me! I am sorry. I never meant for anyone to get hurt anyone!

Are you tired of answering questions now or are you just a lazy bastard?
A little from column A and a little from column B.

You do realize that you are one question short of the ten-question interview that you promised, don't you?
Not any more! Now you have asked your tenth and final question. Later, suckas!

Boxers or breifs?
Two words: Leopard-skin thong with removable Velcro straps.

If you've enjoyed this interview feel free to visit thier site directly for more wit, news and disenlightenment.

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