Also, read the site description.

When did your website go online?
Statto: We started off in 2001, publishing various rubbish on a bit of free webspace with a ridiculously long URL. No-one could ever remember the URL, and we got virtually no hits. We launched KTAB News, then upgraded to a lovely, short, top-level domain, at www.ktab.co.uk. We still get virtually no hits.

How often does your site publish new material?
JTA: Being fairly lazy, and being students, we do most of our publishing in the holidays, when we probably manage a few stories a week. It can get a bit "four-months-without-an-update" when it's bad.

What's the greatest invention of WWII?
JTA: Pearl Habour. Basically, that was a load of Spitfires with Japanese flags painted on 'em. Seemed to be the only way we British could wake up the US.

If no one read your website nor your writing, would you keep up the site and the writing?
Statto: I presume from the "if" that this is intended as some kind of hypothetical question?
JTA: I could cope if my lecturers didn't read my essays, though. That'd boost my grades a treat.

What do you think Mr. Satire's first name is?
JTA: I dunno... Wayne?

Aside from your own, what's the single best site on the entirety of the internet?
Statto: BBC News Online. If we couldn't lift stories off that, we'd be sunk. Also, of course, I wouldn't have the faintest idea what was going on.

You know the dot com boom is over, right?
Statto: The dot co dot uk boom never even began, though, and we're still riding the wave.

What's the greatest award you've ever earned?
Statto: I got a silver medal in a trampolining competition when I was about ten, fighting stiff competition from the other competitor. He got gold.

Why do you keep scratching that if you know it's just going to make it itch that much more?
JTA: Yeah, it will make it itch more... But, it's not like it's my crotch, is it?

Ever lived (or died for that matter) through an earthquake or other natural disaster? How did it impact you?
Statto: The UK is fairly poor when it comes to natural disasters. I survived our last earthquake, which didn't measure on the Richter Scale, and fell immediately back to sleep. It also rained quite hard last week, but luckily I had my coat with me.

Have you ever suffered police injustice?
JTA: Yeah, for about four months running. I cleaned a police station, faithfully, every night, and each day people came in and made a mess of it. I complained to the bloke on the desk, and he just laughed at me, and dropped a bit of his biscuit on the floor. Then he arrested me for hitting him with a mop.

Why do you have so dang many keys on your key chain?
JTA: Er. They jingle amusingly. At the moment I've got, er... seven iron handcut keys on the right chain and, uhm... fifteen assorted Yale, mortice, car and padlock keys on the left chain. It's just a habit I've got into. No, no, that's not a key to your back door. Really it's not. Had it ages.
Statto: I'd like to make it clear at this point that JTA really does have all these keys, and it's not just some device we're using to try to pad out this interview. Except that back door key, obviously.

Boxers or breifs?
Statto: Briefs, certainly. Boxers do not offer the opportunity for any poor puns on a popular news format.
JTA: Yeah, but do you not find it hard to write satire without a refreshing breeze between your legs?

If you've enjoyed this interview feel free to visit thier site directly for more wit, news and disenlightenment.

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