When did your website go online?
Screeners Central went online the moment that I ftp'd the files to the server. It was beautiful. We popped the corks on the champagne bottles, ate Cheeze Wiz on Ritz crackers and everything. It was awesome. Huh? (Aid whispers in Mark's ear) Oh. Er... It went online in April ('04).

What's unique about your site?
Screeners Central is geared for TSA security screeners, so all of the news, links, comics, parody images and (of course) satire articles have a TSA or aviation security theme to them. I get compliments all the time, mostly because we have no lines (ques) and readers don't have to take thier shoes off if they don't want to.

Who's the biggest celebrity you've ever met?
The biggest? Hm. It would either be Carl Struyken (Lurch from "The Addams Family" movie) or David Prowse (the physical actor who played Darth Vader). I'm not sure who's bigger but both are BIG guys!

Which state is best: California, New York, or delusion?
Oh, definitely California. Or was that delusion? Gads, I don't know. I'm from New England so I can't say New York. I live in California now, though. And we do have Arnold as our governor. I'd have to say California. Definitely California.

If you have kids, have you told them you're a satirist?
Definitely not. They think I'm a Republican. But I teach them that smoking's bad. Okay, okay... Truth be told they're not even my kids.

Which Mark Wahlberg character are you most like?
I didn't even know that Mark Wahlberg played role-playing games. Wow. That's cool. Maybe I should invite him to play with me and my friends!

Do you use your powers for good or evil?
I maintain two alter egos. I mostly use them for good, but once in a while I like to switch into my super-villain costume and raise a little hell. I still have limits, though. I mean, I have a code against killing and all that. I'm just not a total wussy like that Parker kid.

Do you write current events type of satire or spoof news?
Both, actually. There's just so much material out there for TSA-related stories, it'd be a shame to rule out either category.

What made you launch your site?
Macaroni and cheese. I live for the stuff.

What will you drive when People Magazine names you the sexiest person of the year?
Definitely a Hummer. And not one of those little sissy H2s. I mean a real man's hummer. God, that sounds bad. But seriously, a full-sized Hummer. ::sigh:: Look, I'm not going to be able to finish this answer without the staff chuckling behind my back. Can we just move on, please?

Some satire is propaganda, how would you react to being told yours is among them?
I would imprison them and thier entire family, force them to attend and satire loyalty re-education, and force them to read from MrSatire.com every day until they were released! And I would ignore all requests from the International Red Cross for visits! Bwah hah hah!

Is your name Indigo Montoya? Did I kill your father? Shall I prepare to die?
Indigo? For heaven's sake, man, at least spell the man's name right! He's been through hell, and you go and call him a shade of blue? ::sigh::

Boxers or briefs?
Good heavens! Briefs, of course! I am completely against the "free-wheeling" ways of boxers. Icky.

Also, read the site description.

If you've enjoyed this interview feel free to visit thier site directly for more wit, news and disenlightenment.

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